Learn.

A few days ago, I got in contact with Jes again. We had a 4-hours conversation on Skype and discussed the possibility of meeting up in the City of Power. He still considered me intelligent, funny and cute.

However, only a couple of days ago, he decided to block me everywhere again, not contacting each other again, simply because I have become so hopeless about relationships and humanity and he thought I could bring him no positive energy. Then I finally realized clearly that he is very selfish. I suddenly remembered how he hurt me in the first place 6 years ago and pushed me into the ocean of numbness, and now he wants me to believe in true love? He can go fuck himself. He used me to help him grow but when I need him to be there for me he runs away. He's just the same as one of those guys who left me when I was in the most difficult time of my life; in fact he is even worse than Ivan because whenever I had emotional difficulties he left. At least Ivan went through some difficult times with me. That's it. No more exes.

Last night I was chatting with Ian about his relationship issues. Basically he didn't like his current girlfriend at all and he thought about his ex all the time. I quoted certain scenarios in How I Met Your Mother to him and explained rationally why one shouldn't get back together (or even in contact) with your ex because it prevents you from moving on, from looking around. The chance of finding "the one" is just as slight as winning the lottery and you have to be patient. If you're always emotionally occupied by an ex or someone you barely like, you will never be available to "the one" or even most likely, you don't even realize "the one" is already next to you. I told him that we all have to get used to emptiness and loneliness. If we're not strong enough we just find a wrong person or an ex to fill up the emptiness and loneliness, and eventually we are missing out the winning lottery. Ian has told me clearly the only reason he was with his current girlfriend was because he felt empty and lonely, and I believe I got in contact with Jes or dwelled on the idea of Richard for the same reason. After his counseling with me, I learned as well, and he was very thankful for my advice.

Tonight, he called me to tell me that his current girlfriend broke up with him and finally the mess was over. I have also let go of Richard. Richard had everything that I wanted but he wasn't able to take care of me, and he will never sacrifice any tiny thing for me. At last but not least, I hope Ian doesn't do something stupid such as getting back together with his ex.