It didn't rain today.

Today wasn't a great day. My morning began with a huge fight with my mother; she accused me of having the same personality as my father and that drove me crazy. I can handle any kind of insults except for this one. I hate my father so much that any semblance to him makes me feel really really humiliated and valueless.

But anyway. I still hit the gym after the fight. I wasn't very happy from working out though; my tears were tumbling in my eyes from time to time.

And then, I saw a guy ask for a girl's phone number. At the beginning I was stretching and this petite tanned girl caught my attention. She peaked at me a few times too. Later, I saw this cute guy go up to her and break the ice. I went to use the cross trainer. I peaked over them from the cross trainer and 20 minutes later, the guy fetched a notebook and asked the girl to write her number on it.

Was I jealous? Not really. The guy wasn't really my type and he's probably only my height. But then, it would be nice if someone ever approached me like that; I've been working out at this gym for 5 years and nothing like that has ever occurred to me before. It makes me wonder if I'm too fat or too ugly, although my rating on HotorNot.com is 9.4. On the other hand, after my fight with my mom, I had been thinking about Richard all morning. Honestly, I desperately wish he could make a little effort this summer to meet up with me again. There are so many things I want to tell him. I want to talk about relationships and politics, share sarcasms and insults, and belittle people with him. After all these years I have learned to become a fawning hypocrite with everybody because no one else in my life has such a huge ego to mock others and to laugh hysterically for being mocked.

Richard sucks. He has caused too many tears for me.