How to forgive?

Tonight I watched 500 Days of Summer. It's quite realistic, but not there yet. Because let me tell you what, the character of Summer should be portrayed by a guy and the character of Tom should be portrayed by a woman. More than one of my exes found their "the one" right after dating me, and one of them is now engaged, while the reason he broke up with me was that he did not want a serious relationship. These movies always like to pretend that men are the innocent gullible hurt one, but in real life, women are. However, the audience like it this way, and that is why He's Just Not That Into You didn't get such good reviews. Objectively speaking, He's Just Not That Into You is a better portrait of real life than 500 Days of Summer.

Last night when I was trying to sleep, I was imagining in my head a couple of conversations with Richard and Ivan, separately. But I asked them the same questions: What do I need to be good enough for you? Better skin? Skinnier? Bigger boobs? Nose job? To be smarter? More sex? Lots of sex? Success in career? Wealth in my family? More hard-to-get games? What does she have that I don't have? What do I lack? And what do I lack so you don't want to ever see me again?

But they were still unable to answer these questions, and I dropped some tears.