Can I have my secrets back?

Last night I sent Jes a message on Facebook; tonight I just found out that he blocked me. Yesterday I tried to call Ivan but he never picked up; today he emailed me and asked me what the fuck was going on in my head. I mean, seriously,

WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!

I trusted these men so much and gave so much to them but in the end when I need someone to talk to I can't find anyone. How is that even fair? Can I have my secrets back?

Let me tell you one thing: when a man breaks up with you and tells you that he will still be your friend and be by your side, that's bullshit. They'll block you everywhere online and eventually they will get a new number and disappear.

One day I am going to be so successful that these men will feel very pathetic about themselves.

None of them actually understood me. Ivan was my longest relationship and he didn't understand me either, although he claimed that he knew me very well, which was utter bullshit. All they saw was my protection, and they never went through my protection.

It's so difficult to just go out there and meet a complete stranger and start to know each other piece by piece. The stakes are too high and the chance of failure is 100%. Why exactly do people even bother to date?