The dating scene today

I reactivated my OKC account about a month ago and have met three men off of it since then. The first guy was great--intelligent, good looking, gentle. However, he's emotionally unavailable and kind of sketchy; he cancelled our first date the last minute and we met up a week later. He never gave me his phone number or any sort of social media. Blah.

The second guy and the third guy I met up with are both in their late forties. Neither of them paid for the first date but I thought, "fine, men today are broke and cheap."

The second guy asked me out tonight and I agreed. However, I was so exhausted from work and hanging out with my mom for a while in the evening so I postponed our meeting first for 30 mins and then another 15 mins. He got mad and texted back "I'm here for 10 more minutes and if you make it you pay for the drinks." I was already on the metro and pissed too. First, I slept only three hours last night and hadn't had a chance to take a nap the whole day. I was trying so hard to make it and yet no appreciation. I even dressed up for it. Second, I didn't really go on a second date with him because 1) he's divorced, 2) he's not good looking, 3) he didn't pay for our first date, and 4) we have the same job and I'm sure he doesn't make as much money as I do. After I explained to him how tired I was and he told me to get a life. Voila. I texted him back that he could just go home right away and blocked him.

There's also another French photographer who has been texting me and in his late 40s too. Sometimes I think he's quite special; other times I just find him desperate. I agreed to meet up with him and he said, "well, since you chose the location you have to pay for my coffee." There, fucking loser. I'm blocking him too.

The third guy I met up with is from Chicago, in his late 40s too and divorced with no kids. He didn't pay for my first coffee either but he asked me out for a second date tomorrow and he said it'll be his treat. I don't think there will be a future with this guy although he tried to kiss me the last time. I just wanna talk to someone so badly, which is why I agreed to go. Besides, my relationship coach told all the girls to keep an open heart in order to meet the one.

But you see, dating is so hard these days. I went to a speed dating event three weeks ago and guess what, none of the 25 men at the event contacted me afterwards. Of the 25, only one or two were intellectually compatible with me. I thought I'd be harassed by some weirdos, but none, no one at all. Not sure if that's a good thing.

I am writing this entry at a Haagen Dazs while waiting for the entry to Avengers. Everytime when I have Haagen Dazs ice cream I just think of Ken and a rush of grief passes through my heart. Our telepathy doesn't work anymore; he doesn't think of me anymore. The only possible explanation is that he has found someone. But if he really has found someone, I don't think I can continue my life at all.