Need to talk to you again

Dear X, I need to talk to you again. Can you hear me?

Tonight I had to give about $2000 to my mom again. She's short on cash again. But you already know my parents' problem--my dad overleveraged before the financial crisis and we went broke in 2008. He sold the house I grew up in and got some extra cash. He overleveraged in the stock market again with that cash and then the Euro debt crisis hit again in 2011. My dad took out the loans under my mom's name so now they're heavily indebted. My father doesn't have a job and my mom can barely cover the mortgage payment every month with her salary. I already gave them $3000 six months ago, and now they're short again.

For the past six months, I barely saved any money because of shit like this. My salary is higher than most people of my age and I actually got a pay raise this year, but I still can't save much.

I feel so frustrated. Who's gonna marry me and my problems? Then we're back to the cold-blooded fate again. I didn't choose my parents; I don't want to inherit their problems. But how can I see my mom suffer like this because of something she didn't do? She has to take some blame though, because she has never loved herself enough to leave my father, even though I've always hated my father.

I tried to google this problem. Most of the entries I found were about how parents paid for their kids' college loans. I feel so jealous of those people. I had to pay everything on my own, including my own student loans, and now I have to pay for my parents' debt so they can have food to eat.

I'm so tired right now. I know it's not a lot of money but I just feel insecure and uncomfortable about it. I want to save for our future too. What if you don't make a lot of money either and we would like to start our own family one day? I don't want to be a burden to you; I want to bring happiness to you. But now it just seems that I'm farther and farther away from my dream, our dream...