Magic

I think magic happens when we hold no expectations, and that's why people feel exhilarated when they see one.

Today I had my little magic. Mars took me to brunch today. Actually, I'd been to that restaurant twice already, both were dates, one of which was with Michael. When we got there, the interior was full and loud, so we sat on the balcony, the exact same spot Michael and I sat. I never wrote about what Michael said to me when we were on that date, but I remember he said something touching that made me cry again and we kept kissing there.

This time with Mars was great fun. We had great food, a great conversation. I asked him to listen to "Lloro por ti" by Enrique Iglesias because I told him on Sunday that I heard this song on Pandora that morning and simply cried without even knowing the lyrics and I wanted to watch him listen to this song. That was why we did today. We were listening to it together and I felt absolutely soft, or even melted by the music and his shoulder (yeah I was laying my head on his left shoulder). The balcony, the food, the air, everything. Music made the images meaningful.

But he thought it was "generic". Yeah, I do acknowledge that the song is poppy, but whatever, I'm a girl, and entitled to super poppy stuff like Taylor Swift or Katy Perry or Enrique.

He also showed me his favorite game "The Room" on iPad. Then I thought of Mandy Catron's questionnaire to make people fall in love, so I pulled it out and tried it with him. After just answering the first 12 questions, he got bored and kissed me again. This time, he said some stuff that was so sweet and moving and I almost cried right there. But I didn't, because a similar image already took place on the very same spot with Michael so someone my heart has hardened a bit than before...?

Here's what he said to me: You're so open about yourself. I like it that way. I want you to always tell me how you feel because that's how I know how to make you happy. I wanna have something meaningful with you. I'm confident that I can be the man you deserve but I'm taking things slow because I want to get to know you.

Maybe not in that exact order but that's everything he said. What triggers me most is that he said the opposite of what all other guys had said to me--he said he was confident that he could be the man I deserved; all other guys told me that "I deserved a better man", which meant they couldn't be the man I deserved. This time I feel strongly that Mars wants to make me happy, he puts me first. I feel so different from how I used to feel when I was with a guy before. This time, I feel, a lot more respect, and care.

But I want to take things slow too. On the metro, he told me that we weren't in a relationship and I could date other guys if I wanted to. Well, at this point, I'm still open to meeting other guys but I probably wouldn't kiss them. I feel a bit frustrated that he doesn't think we're in a relationship but actually, I do think it's better this way. Michael acknowledged our relationship on the second or third date and we still ended things in five weeks. That formal acknowledgement doesn't mean a thing. A guy can be cheating or not really in love with the girl even if he's in a formal, committed relationship. That's not what I want anyway. At the end of the day, it's all really up to his free will what he wants to do and how close he wants to be with me.

And guess what? He texted me in the evening arranging our next date on Friday. I felt surprised because he told me that even when he was in a committed relationship, he used to see the girl only once a week. I thought that was crazy and he thought three times a week with phone calls in between was crazy. And yet, he couldn't wait a week to see me. I feel very happy about that; I'm finally being treated like I deserve care and pamper and respect. =))))