The War, Plane Crash, Taylor Swift, Ken, Love

It's been a while since I last updated but guess what, things have been great. I got a big raise at work after complaining about what my boss told me at the dinner the other day to a few of my students who after the course turned out to be my really good friends, which led me to believe that someone at work must have eavesdropped our conversation the other day about us bitching people at work. Could be worse--maybe one of my students/friends works for my boss.

Then I felt kind of guilty for badmouthing my boss. On the other hand, without letting others know my dissatisfaction about my work condition, I probably would have never got a raise. =)

A plane crashed in a river in the City of Rain. My parents and I were going to take the same type of plane to the East Coast for our vacation in 2 weeks. However, all of us have been overwhelmed by this tragedy and felt really uncomfortable about taking an ATR, so we refunded our tickets and decided to take the train instead. I want to feel care-free when vacationing/traveling, which is also the whole point of vacationing/traveling.

I feel quite sad about a variety of disasters in 2014 and the beginning of 2015. I mean, yes, 2015 is only beginning, but so many tragedies have already taken place in our fucked up world. IS, AirAsia, Malaysian Air, Ukraine, TransAsia, etc. Sometimes I cry upon reading things about these events. I question the reason behind all of these. Many people believe that life and death are completely out of our control, and it's probably preordained by God or the Universe or whoever. But what did those innocent people do to deserve such tragedies? They didn't choose to be born in the Middle East. They didn't choose to die like that. The barbarity of human nature (or is it human nature?) terrifies and saddens me. All animals "can be" violent, but I don't believe they were born violent. Simply look at any infant or cubs. They were not born violent. But human hearts turn steel when they've been hurt repeatedly and can never truly heal themselves. They grow callous and defensive or even aggressive, but that's not healing. Healing is returning the wound opening to where it was before the injury--the innocent, harmless baby, the soft, clean skin, the pure heart that's deep feeling and kind.

All this therapy stuff is actually too difficult for most people to understand. Even a lot of people I know who have been practicing self-help, self-growth, life coaching, or going to these seminars for self-growth can barely see the big picture of the healing process. They know some theories and steps, but they fail to see how those steps connect to different parts inside of us, including our mind, soul, heart, body, vibration, and life and make ourselves be in a state of utmost balance where everything falls into place on its own. I also wonder if every human being has the ability or the instincts to reach this state of mind? Does this require a lot of wisdom that can only be understood and practiced by the very few? Ancient Chinese philosophers, Nietzsche, and Osho taught this to many, but how many have become them? They taught this because they were the most capable of seeing the big picture and understanding the universal principles, but is this something that all human beings can achieve? If we teach this stuff to militants in IS and all the sufferers, will they really change into kind, pure-hearted child-like people?

The chaos we see today is nothing but the result of resentment, of unresolved grief and anger, whether it's people who support barbarity or participate in it.

I've been addicted to Taylor Swift's new album 1989. I've been listening to this song "clean":

Rain came pouring down when I was drowning
That's when I could finally breathe
And that morning, gone was any trace of you, I think I am finally clean


Ken. Always, still back to Ken, again.