Pairs

Another year has passed and a new year has arrived. Again, as always, I counted down alone. I can't even remember the last time I counted down with someone, probably never. I remember last year I went to see the fireworks alone in the City of Gold. The year before that I counted down at home with my dog Baby. The year before that I counted down alone at the Monument in the City of Power, and there were no fireworks.

So this year I found a spot in my alma mater that had a view of the city fireworks. It was great. I enjoyed being back in my college. It's a beautiful campus, always renovating, with lots of good memories.

There were so many couples. They were in each other's arms, watching the fireworks together. Some kissed on the streets. After midnight, there were tons of scooters on their way home. More than 90% of them were couples. I like being in a scooter with a man. It's better than sitting in a man's car because in a scooter, I get to hug the man from behind and lay my head on his back. It makes me feel secure. I took a cab home. While in the cab, I watched all the couples in scooters on the bridge. There were old couples, young couples, couples with a kid in between. It felt warm, and I felt lonely.

While the fireworks were in display, I kept listening to World Filled with Love by Craig David. I want to believe. The image and the music went very well together, almost like a dream. I was smiling like a baby.

After the fireworks, I tried to talk to X again. I told him, "I promise next year we'll be watching this together. Do you promise too?" X said, "Yes, I promise. I'm sorry I can't make it again this year. But next year..."

But it's so hard to imagine what he would say. Perhaps I do not have enough faith in him. I want him to promise me that we'll be watching all the fireworks from this year on till death, but I am not him. I don't know what he would say. I don't know where he is. I don't know what he looks like. I don't know how he feels right now, and I don't know if he wonders how I feel now.

God, please give me this one last miracle. I don't want to be a prime number anymore. It is a universal law for people to be in couples. That's why everything in us is paired. For example, all of our organs are paired. Even numbers are always preferred to odd numbers. All the bills in the world are even numbers, except for ones. The sun is paired by the moon. Oxygen is paired by two oxygen elements. All molecules have an even number of electrons to be neutral. Left is paired by right. A front wheel is paired by a rear wheel. A man is paired by a woman.

Where is my other half?