Comfort

Today I feel very frustrated at work. I went to tutor the kids with a happy smile but as soon the mother opened the door and told me that I needed to be more strict with her older son, I felt stress. She talked a lot about another tutor they hired and how she noticed that her son wasn't as ambitious as the previous quarter. It felt as if I was responsible for all of it and that I wasn't good enough.

I continued to feel tension throughout work, and I worked one hour overtime as always. On my way back home the bus was completely packed. I couldn't stand the discomfort anymore and got off the bus and took a cab home instead. My tears burst out while I was on the cab. I hate working. I hate being criticized. I hate to worry about not having money. I hate faking smiles for money. I hate being out there and getting hurt by other people.

I kept feeling sad after I got home. All I want is someone to comfort me, hold me when I cry. I called Rain twice, and it turned out he was on the phone and didn't answer. I'm 100% positive that he has a new girl now. Four days ago he spent the night at my place and made me give him a blowjob. However, I didn't care that much as he left because my mind was all about Ken and Eric, who might fly to the City of Rain to see me next month.