Faith

“The greatest impact that can be made in a boy’s life is the wisdom shared by his father.” ~ Jonathon Aslay

Son, as you’re about to embark on your own and leave the family home, I want to share with you a little advice about women and sex.

You may not know this, but chances are your hormones are on overdrive right now, and you will feel this surge and thirst for women and sex.

This drive is normal, but I want you to heed the following:

1. FORGET THE JOKES ~ Throughout your life, you will hear jokes about women and how complicated they are, how they nag and how needy they are, that they don’t want sex after they have the wedding, etc. Just like men, women have flaws, so don’t listen to the jokes and especially don’t buy into them. Take the time to get to know each woman individually and make your own assessments, and remember jokes about women only serve to belittle, not inspire.

2. DON’T FOLLOW YOUR PEERS ~ If your friends want to go to a strip club all in the name of fun, please say NO. These places only serve to objectify women, and men there mostly treat women as property. Furthermore, your friends will talk about “banging” women as if they’re a piece of meat, and while it might sound funny, IT’S NOT. Your friends will talk about having conquests, but I taught you how to capture a woman’s heart.

3. BEWARE OF WHAT YOU WATCH ~ Men are visual creatures, and nothing arouses us more than pornography. Some might say it’s harmless, but the truth is, the more you watch or read porno with fantasy, the more you’ll be desensitized to the actual physical experience of making love. The wonder that is a woman’s body will simply pass you by. Nothing on this earth is more amazing than the REAL touch of a woman who loves you and wants you.

4. YOU CAN’T COUNT ON THEORY ~ In theory, friends with benefits (FWB) sounds like a good idea because you get all the sex with none of the emotional responsibility. But here’s the thing: while the sex may be incredible with a FWB, usually one person begins to have feelings for the other, and then one of you is going to get hurt or hurt the other. No matter how open you are with each other, FWB relationships rarely ever work and you usually lose a friend—that’s a fact.

5. SAFE SEX ~ My guess is that I don’t have to talk to you about this one as you’ve learned all this in school about diseases and getting pregnant. But just as a reminder, raising a child is a HUGE responsibility and lasts a lifetime. So wait to start a family when you are in love, married, and have a good job and home.

Sometimes women aren’t completely honest about being on birth control because they want to have a baby with you, so make sure you take care of yourself. As far as diseases, it’s not worth the risk. A onetime thrill is not worth a lifetime of meds.

6. BEWARE OF THE CHEMISTRY DECEPTION ~ When you feel so drawn to a woman and feel out of control believing you’re in love, take a step back. Remember this: chemistry is really brain chemicals like testosterone and dopamine running amok, which is like being on crack cocaine. This will cloud your mind, and you might make decisions in haste.

Real love takes time to develop, and don’t say, “I love you” unless you will honestly care for them not only in the good times, but also in the bad.

7. BE TRUE TO YOUR WORD AND TO YOURSELF~ You might be tempted to say anything to get sex or to lie to get what you want. I’ve done my best to teach you the value of honesty and integrity, and this includes your feelings as well. Manipulating a woman by telling her you are more into her than you really are just to get sex is tantamount to lying, even if you think it’s true. You should never have to convince your partner to sleep with you. She will want it just as much as you do when you’re in love.

8. DON’T ACCEPT A CHEAP THRILL ~ One-time sex might seem exciting in the moment, but you’re usually left with a ton of regret in the morning. You’ll be tempted to sleep with as many women as you can, but most of those encounters will mean nothing. To sleep with someone you hardly know might even feel like a conquest, but you have nothing to prove. Although your friends and the media will disagree with me, it’s more impressive to sleep with one woman a thousand ways than to sleep with a thousand women.

9. REACHING NEW HEIGHTS ~ Last, nothing really compares to the mind-blowing experience of connecting with one special woman you deeply care about when making love. I can’t stress this enough…making love is when two people come together fully present both physically and emotionally. In this moment, you will feel heaven on earth.

Take time to nurture a relationship starting with friendship, and when you can make love to your best friend, the feeling will be out of this world.

So there you have it my son, just a few things to remember about women and sex.

If you ever want to talk, I’m HERE.

With love,
Your Dad (Jonathon Aslay)