Dear X

Dear X,

You didn't show up today. I looked everywhere for your sign but couldn't find any. I feel scared. I'm terribly afraid if you're not there. I can't keep living my life knowing that I am in fact destined to be alone. Are you there?

I have received significant coaching for the past 18 months. My coach's main message to me is that I really don't need you to fill in a piece of puzzle in my life. But I'm afraid that's never the case for me. If a person alone can be whole, then people don't necessarily need to get married. Yes, I know people who have never been married. But I cannot be one of them. I might be genetically defected or have developed inadequately. I need you to be here so I can keep living. Is that why you're leaving me?

I'll try to look again tomorrow. I want you to just show up and hug me and tell me everything's fine now. Tell me you want to hold me forever and never let anybody else hurt me again.

I love you,

J