Loss, Rain, Solitude

It was pouring in the afternoon again. I loved it. I feel almost excited when it rains, especially when it pours. I definitely feel soothed by the sound of water, but today I feel painfully lonely in the rain.

I thought of Mark who took me out for an afternoon tea on a rainy Saturday afternoon. I thought of my dog Baby. We could have been cuddling in bed when it rained, which was what we used to do. Is there anyone out there who feels the same way as I do whenever it rains?

Whenever it rains, it feels like the universe is crying for me. My grief and sadness are beyond the amount of tears I can release so the sky does it for me. It screams for me in thunders. Then I have this sense that finally someone in the world feels me, the universe. That's how the rain feels embracing and warm.

Why am I so alone? I miss so many people at the moment. On top of them, I really miss Baby.