This is it.

Angel and I have been on 2 dates in person so far and we have officially become boyfriend and girlfriend.

Our first date was on the 27th, Sunday. He took me out for lunch at an Italian restaurant and then tea at another tea house in his neighborhood and that was when we met in person for the first time. It was a delightful afternoon during which he first kissed me on the sidewalk (no tongue action) and then again when he dropped me off at the subway station, and yes, with some tongue. He also held my hands when we were walking together.

That night, the Universe was working at our favor. There was a huge storm hitting the City of Rain and the city government declared an emergency day-off. Both of us thought it would be a great opportunity to hang out again on Monday because we work different schedules and it's really hard for us to go on dates during weekdays or to even catch up and have an unhurried conversation.

On Monday afternoon, after having lunch and hanging out with my family, I was en-route to his place. However, the storm was too heavy that they shut down parts of the subway and there was no way I could reach him. I asked him to cab to my place but he thought it was too risky for him to go out. Then I started to feel really upset and frustrated because I managed to go find him despite the storm and wasn't concerned about my personal safety at all but he, on the other hand, was worried about the feasibility and his own safety. I started to blame myself for being so easy and having such low-esteem. Then I started to wander off wherever the subway took me. I dropped by 2 places and had to return to the subway because the storm made it impossible for me to stand on the street for more than 10 seconds or to even just grab a taxi. The even more saddening part was that there were still many couples on the street while the man was holding up an umbrella with one hand and protecting the girl with another. That should have been me, or us, but it just couldn't happen to me. All of a sudden I started to feel really sad and angry. After spending almost 2 hours on the subway back and forth, I finally got home, completely drenched.

I took a hot shower and had a good cry in the shower. All those past traumas were resurfacing and I simply couldn't help myself. Angel said I could call him whenever I was ready. Some time in the evening, I did. First I told him how frustrated I felt under those circumstances and that I just cried in the shower. I told him all the images and thoughts I had; I made so much effort to meet him such as dressing up and traveling but in the end I got nothing and got home completely wet. I even cried in our video call. He told me that he was feeling terrible too and not being able to see me that day actually upset him more than anything else he had ever experienced with his dates before. He told me it wasn't that I had low self-esteem but that I was sweet, which he really appreciated. After some time, I could really see that he was feeling bad too and he was really trying to be there for me and cheer me up. I stopped feeling angry and we continued our conversation the entire night. It was a 6-hour conversation and guess what, the Universe worked for us again--the storm continued so Tuesday was also a day-off. However, the storm was gone by noon and Angel came to my place in the afternoon. We first had lunch in my neighborhood and then we made out at my apartment.

After we parted in the evening, he texted me that he put something in my purse. It turned out to be a handwritten love letter, which was something we talked about the night before. He mentioned that in college, when there was no email or cell phone, he used to hand-write letters to his first girlfriend. Upon hearing this, I told him to hand-write me a letter too because nobody does that anymore in the 21st century. I never had thought that he would slip the letter in my purse the very next day. So here's how the letter goes (and btw, his handwriting is terrible):

September 29, 2015

Dear KJ,

It's hard to believe we've only met in person once and that was just two days ago. The openness which we've brought out in each other and the closeness that has come with it is breathtaking. I've never experienced anything like this. I feel like each new thing we have or encounter deepens that; even the setbacks bring us together because we're on the same side and want the same things. It's both humbling (?) and exhilarating. Above all, it feels incredibly natural, as does being with you.

Somewhere in our six hour conversation last night (the longest I've ever had with anyone), you asked me to make a list of the nice things I'd said to you. I can't promise I'll remember everything, and actually I don't think that matters because I'm sure I'll keep finding things to add. But here it is for now (or at least a start)

1) you're really smart 2) you care about ideas 3) you're kind 4) you're thoughtful and care about the happiness of others 5) you're beautiful in your face, body, and heart (and I'm looking forward to being much more specific!) 6) you have a great sense of humor 7) you're eloquent 8) you have a wonderful warmth around you 9) you always share your best with me and that makes me a better person 10) you're confident without being arrogant 11) you're sexy in more ways than I can describe (and I'm looking forward to finding even more...) 12) you respect yourself and turn me on while still maintaining a wonderful innocent, I can't describe it either but it's really wonderful 13) you're direct and kind at the same time 14) more than being beautiful, you always manage to look good, whether you're dressing up or you've just woken up. I have much more that I can say, but since my train is about to reach you I want to make sure I ask this:

Kendra Johanson, will you be my girlfriend?

xoxoxoxo
Angel

And he drew a smiley face and a heart next to it.


On Tuesday night, I also hand-wrote him a letter:

Dear Angel,

Thank you for such a sweet surprise! I feel really touched (as always). I have never felt so secure and simple and at ease with anyone else before, which is something I truly cherish. So, my answer to your question is
YES! <3 p="">
PS. Your handwriting is indeed impressive!
e.g. #12 You respect yourself and turn me on while still maintaining a wonderful "imocurle"?

???

KJ
9/30/2015

I have told a few people that I feel Angel is the one. It's not saying that I love him already, but it's just that I can easily see that he's the one. It's exactly the kind of feeling that my relationship coach described in her audiobook. Angel is nothing like the kind of guys I used to go out with. He's brilliant, talks slowly, very tall and thin, and doesn't tease me. The guys I used to go out with enjoyed teasing me, talked very fast, and were bigger. For some reason, it's just so easy to be with Angel that I don't even want to keep dating other guys anymore. I just don't feel any insecurity with him at all. It's quite magical how it all happened so unexpectedly.