Choose me for once.

Last Tuesday I had a good blind date with a guy whom I'd been looking forward to since I heard about him from our matchmaker. We had a good start and he made me cry when we talked about life and death and of course, my dog. He offered to drive me home because he wanted to chat with me more. After he dropped me off at home, I simply had a feeling that he wouldn't contact me again despite all the nice gestures he showed. Indeed, he told our matchmaker that he'd stay in touch instead of looking forward to our next date (which are the two options out of the three available after each blind date among which the third option is to never stay in touch).

Despite all these bad signals, people still thought I was being too pessimistic again. Prompted by them, I decided to take the intiative to contact him. His replies were brief and meaningless as if he didn't wanna talk to me at all. In the end I surrendered--removed him from my contacts and deleted our conversation.

Before we had our first blind date, I actually had a nightmare about him. Since we couldn't see each other's pictures in advance, I kept imagining a smart successful guy like him who would hire a matchmaker was probably obese and ugly. It turned out he was tall and fit, and indeed we were on the same page about life, serendipity in life, and how to live life. It was just that he wasn't into me.

Every man I've had a crush on this summer has been taken. This has been a meaningless, imaginary summer where I forced myself to indulge in work and take pleasure in work by imagining romance with some of my students. In the end, there was still no hope of love at all. But I have successfully earned the amount of money I aimed for.

I wish one of them could remember me, feel an irresistible urge to pick up the phone and call me simply because he misses our conversations, my tears, my laughter, my innocent sensitive heart that's different from all other jaded hearts in the world.