It's Robin!

The season finale of How I Met Your Mother was mind blowing, and of course made me cry again. Although I feel relieved to know that Barney finally marries Robin, I still can't wait to know how they get there. I'm sure it'll be another great romantic story.

My parents were fighting in the morning on Mother's Day. My dad was throwing stuff at my mom and the farce made me cry so badly. I felt fear, anger, and extreme grief and cried for hours. Eventually I decided not to go through this thing along and called Cato.

I thought about calling others before I called Cato. I thought about calling Tanner, Matt, Tin, and some others. However, since Tanner told me about how it's difficult to be around me when I'm sad and that it takes too much effort to be my friend, I have become very conscious about being emotional around my friends. I decided to still call Cato because I could not lose something I already lost.

Cato tried to find me a solution and he was shocked to learn the kind of violence I grew up in; I told him I only needed someone to go through the emotions with me and didn't need a solution. Eventually all the talking calmed me down and comforted me. Interestingly he felt flattered that I chose to call him. In the end he prompted me to get some Haagen Dazs because I could feel hunger again after letting out all my emotions.

Matt is my new close best friend. I haven't written about how we became close recently but I will update soon.

Yesterday I found an amazing website for people who were born to be highly sensitive: http://hsperson.com/pages/test.htm

I have every single item on the checklist and I find it amazing to finally find a little test that describes me completely, even my sensitivity to caffeine and alcohol is right on the spot. I now have a habit of drinking coffee on the daily basis; in the past I couldn't because coffee makes my fingertips numb and tingle. Although my homemade coffee doesn't do that to me now, a few days ago I noticed the numbness and tingling in my fingertips again. It also explains my fear for pain and my menstrual cramp. The gynecologist told me there was nothing wrong with my womb or anything and it was just regular cramping but somehow the pain for me is just very severe. It stopped hurting for 1.5 years until Cato broke up with me. It began to hurt badly again because I began to feel myself, feel my body and emotions. It's fascinating how my brain was actually shut down from both physical and emotional pain under depression and now I'm opening up to the pain again. I do feel thrilled.