The New Rainbow

Since we came back from the business trip to the City of Money, Cato and I have been close. We've been on a few dates; actually I thought we were just hanging out but he paid most of the time and I was told to be dated by my friends. Somehow I am quite oblivious on these things because I hang out with guys all the time and they often pay for me but I always reciprocate in the next round.

Eventually over the weekend, we hooked up. It was the first time I did something physically intimate with a guy over the past 13 months. I mean, my skills are there but it kind of felt like a first time. Anyway, we had fun and he was the first guy in my life who made me breakfast the next morning.

Interestingly, I am less insecure than before. There are still times I really want to hang out with him but I have been able to manage not to be so clingy; there are also times when I keep thinking where this is going but I am able to pay less attention to that than in my past relationships. Perhaps it is because I am a jaded person now, or it's because he's an extremely nice guy and I just trust him completely. I'm not as pushy as before and if it doesn't work out at the moment I don't think it'd hurt me that much, if not at all.

It's a good new chapter in my life after all. When we first kissed, I finally felt all the right hormones were restored in function in my body and I was able to give something away again.