Silver Linings

“The only way to beat my crazy was by doing something even crazier. Thank you. I love you. I knew it from the moment I saw you. I'm sorry it took me so long to catch up.” -- Silver Linings Playbook

The happiest thing in the world is knowing that the person you love also loves you back. I experienced it once in my life so far, with Ivan. I texted him those three words maybe only a month after we were officially together but he did not reciprocate immediately. He called me right away asking me what the text meant and then he spent the night at my place yet still didn't reciprocate those three words. I cried my eyes out and fell asleep next to him. The next morning I woke up and he told me to check my phone. I saw a new text saying "I love you too..."

That was the only time so far in my life that I was reciprocated with those three words. After Ivan I actually have never said those three words to anyone. Yes I am still too scared to say those words to someone who is not committed to me. I have professed my feelings to a few guys but they didn't feel the same way about me. Now I want to be the one who reciprocates with those words rather than initiate.

There must be a happy ending for me, like the Silver Linings Playbook and all other movies I love. For now I just want a bear hug in which I fall asleep.