After work today I picked up Little O and Little N from their school. It was a full day of school for Little O so he was very hungry and wanted to buy noodles from the noodle shop near us. He really tried to order the food on his own and we had been rehearsing what to say multiple times. We were waiting in line for our turn.

Then a young man with a backpack in front of us finished his order. He turned back to us and said to me "watch your child." Little O didn't do anything to him. After I finished our order, I kept staring at him, and he saw me stare at him, and then I went to talk to him.

I asked, "Did my child touch you?"

He said, "Yes he brushed my backpack."

I said, "Did you see how narrow the space is for lining up? Was I not watching him? There are other people who brushed me and I don't say anything."

He said, "Your child brushed me and you should watch him. Should I apologize for your child brushing my backpack? I am going to record this."

He was getting his phone out. I raised my voice, "My child is a minor so don't you dare record him. Also he's autistic. If you film me, I can film you too."

Then, some random loser dining at the restaurant turned to me and said, "you guys can take your discussion outside. This is a place for people to eat."

I took Little O outside to wait for our food and I kept staring at him. The more I stared at him, the harder he laughed. I suspected that he was mentally deranged, and yet he was so articulate. I fucking wanted to kill him. Then he came outside to smoke and said to me, continuing to laugh, "I have all day to spend with you."  I said, "who taught you to talk like this? Where is your ethics? Were you not born and raised by your mother?" I said to him, "if you're so afraid of narrow spaces and being brushed by others, I recommend you move somewhere rural without anyone."

There were more exchanges between us. At one point Little O tried to hold his hand, and it made him laugh sarcastically. I yelled at Little O, "This man is bullying you." This man said, "Even your child knows that you should go now. You're so funny."

Our food was ready and I asked the cashier, "that guy is somewhat psychotic right?" The cashier said, "possibly. When you encounter someone like that, don't waste your time and just leave." 

I am so fed up with the world; they are so fucking selfish that there is no room left for my children. Even if this man is mentally deranged, I have no sympathy for him. I wish that his psychotic episode takes place tonight and he ends his life right there. The world doesn't have enough oxygen and space for losers like that. 

After we got home, I asked Little O, "Do you know why mommy is very scared and very sad? There was a man bullying you. He was a bad man."

Owen said, "And Owen wanna go to mommy's white car and scream." I think he's telling me how he has felt from some other similar incidents at school but he doesn't have the words to describe what happened.

Why are we so alone in this world?